Ten Ways to ruin love

So I gotten old and wise lately, there is a ton of advices everywhere on how to save a relationship. So, how about top ten ways to ruin it?  Feel free to add more in comments.

1. When he asks for the 21th time for a lil cuddly time, turn from the computer with a deep sigh and say "sure, when I finished this blog" then write the longest most inspired blog ever, in the morning accuse him of falling asleep on you.

2. Wash only your clothes as his is stinking of sweat from his two jobs. He cant expect you to risk your clothes, you need them to make the time go by with your friends.as he is not around.

3. Dinner means him picking up something on his way home, when he asks what you want, tell him to supriced you. Then you get out of cooking and dont forget to complain about whatever he brings.

4. Drool over some musclebound knitwit on tv and ask when was the last time your lover went to the gym. To top it off take a ten minute walk alone to "think about things".

5. When you have to clean (not too often) make a fuss about every single bad habbit he got, and make it seem that you do everything in the house, even though you do as little as you possibly can.

6. Hygien is for evenings out and work, he is supposed to love you as you are right?  Plus there is no need to waste good deodorant and toothpaste.

7. When you get a present for no reason,  tell him in no uncertant terms that it dont mean he is getting some...

8. When you get a present for a reason (birthday, Christmas etc) tell him in a sweet voice about the much more expensive/exiting present you got from an ex bf. If you don't come up with something,  lie!

9. Invite your mother and sister to stay indefenetly, then let them help you make life unbeareable for him. If he can slave for you, there is no reason he can't do the same for the ones you love.

10. Never EVER tell him you love him, and if you accidently done anything to make him happy make sure he hears about it for months, or even better, för years.

If theese advices do for some reason not work,  then you can kick him out, cause you didn't want a weak yes säger as partner...